Phenomenal piece as always, V! I often say that curse words are the spice of language. Used correctly (like you did here) they can add flavor to writing. Overdo them (like with real seasonings) and you ruin the dish.
This was a wonderful example of using curse words to drive home the emotional impact. An excellent poem as always.
Thanks, Bradley! I really appreciate that and completely agree. I kind of drew that from "I'm sitting here feeling THIS and I'm literally like F word!" lol. Also, I love the cooking metaphor. If I didn't know you were a writer, I would know. You're such a smart cookie, my friend.
playing with it for this poem definitely opened my eyes to new ways to use alliteration. it's so much fun experimenting with different things. sometimes it doesn't work and something you discover something fun!
oh my goodness, this was incredibly raw and vulnerable. contrary to some of the comments here, i LOVED the alliteration, i think it really drove the point home, and made the emotions more visceral and realistically felt.
thanks, Isabella! I know it's all subjective haha but I am glad you enjoyed it! I literally just wrote this right before posting, it just came to me and I've been playing around with using alliteration in my writing and I was like, how can I portray these emotions while challenging myself? I'm still not sure how I feel about this poem, haha but I appreciate everyone's thoughts!!
i literally can't believe you wrote this right before posting! i literally could not tell!
and reminder: just cuz you post it here doesn't mean its the final version; edits are always awesome to see, and i will read every single version of anything you write like ever!
haha so true!! wanna hear something funny in that vein? I re-read this and even made a quick edit. and read it five more times and was like okay, ready to post. then i posted and read it again and found a typo. quickly fixed it. then re-read it again, changed a word to improve flow, and quickly published LOL, so safe to say yes, you are speaking THE truth.
Phenomenal piece as always, V! I often say that curse words are the spice of language. Used correctly (like you did here) they can add flavor to writing. Overdo them (like with real seasonings) and you ruin the dish.
This was a wonderful example of using curse words to drive home the emotional impact. An excellent poem as always.
Thanks, Bradley! I really appreciate that and completely agree. I kind of drew that from "I'm sitting here feeling THIS and I'm literally like F word!" lol. Also, I love the cooking metaphor. If I didn't know you were a writer, I would know. You're such a smart cookie, my friend.
That makes sense! And yes, the writer in me loves all my little sayings and metaphors, haha. 😀
Really enjoyed this :)
Thanks for reading!
"let me lighten from my lungs
the shattered syllables I swallowed
to keep precarious peace with people
who extort my energy endlessly."
Wahhhh ... yes. Fuck. Been there.
Fortunately, also got away from there.
Lovely poem, V!
Best Wishes - Dave :)
Thank you, Dave! That means so much coming from a poet of your caliber. Really appreciate you reading and commenting.
Yes, alliterations!!
🫶🫶🫶 also not sure why I wasn’t already subbed to you but fixed it 😬😊
“why won’t this world wrap me in it’s goodness” 🔥
glad you liked it!! 🫶
“let me lighten from my lungs
the shattered syllables I swallowed
to keep precarious peace with people
who extort my energy endlessly.”
Yo. 🤌 😍
Also, I’m team alliteration! Love it.
haha, thank you, friend! that was my favorite part of the poem to tbh
Didn't know it could be so polarizing, but I'm digging the alliteration. I enjoy 'abusing' it myself. It's a powerful device.
playing with it for this poem definitely opened my eyes to new ways to use alliteration. it's so much fun experimenting with different things. sometimes it doesn't work and something you discover something fun!
oh my goodness, this was incredibly raw and vulnerable. contrary to some of the comments here, i LOVED the alliteration, i think it really drove the point home, and made the emotions more visceral and realistically felt.
thanks, Isabella! I know it's all subjective haha but I am glad you enjoyed it! I literally just wrote this right before posting, it just came to me and I've been playing around with using alliteration in my writing and I was like, how can I portray these emotions while challenging myself? I'm still not sure how I feel about this poem, haha but I appreciate everyone's thoughts!!
i literally can't believe you wrote this right before posting! i literally could not tell!
and reminder: just cuz you post it here doesn't mean its the final version; edits are always awesome to see, and i will read every single version of anything you write like ever!
haha so true!! wanna hear something funny in that vein? I re-read this and even made a quick edit. and read it five more times and was like okay, ready to post. then i posted and read it again and found a typo. quickly fixed it. then re-read it again, changed a word to improve flow, and quickly published LOL, so safe to say yes, you are speaking THE truth.
Nicely done. Perhaps a little too much alliteration!?
I wanted to challenge myself with it
Certainly successful!
haha, it was a lot though. I would definitely not make this a regular occurrence lol
Amen
thanks for reading Boo!! :)